Over the past few days I've been thinking a lot about being 'alone' and what exactly that means to me. This won't be a long blog post - actually, I am writing it as I am spending a glorious evening by myself and I have a lot to fit in tonight - but I wanted to get my thoughts down before I forget them because I do think that this is an issue that conflicts many people.
I feel that, in our society, there is a huge stigma attached to people who choose to be by themselves. One doesn't often see a person eating alone in a restaurant, attending a movie by themselves or taking a trip alone. In fact, when we do see somebody alone in a (typically) social setting, we might even feel sorry for them, sorry that they don't have anybody to share that experience with. Sometimes, it seems to me that every single thing about how a person portrays their lives, either by recounting stories to their friends or uploading their personal pictures on social media, is based and judged purely on who they live with, who shares their lives. We only see the most smiley and happy-looking group photos of people surrounded by hundreds of best friends and others who look lovingly at them. We hear only about the parties and the events and the busy social agendas...
But what about those who really choose to be alone? Choose to live life in blissful solitude? They make decisions only for themselves, don't ever have to compromise, live their lives exactly as they want and answer only to themselves. They may eat in whatever unruly (or sophisticated) manner they choose, always leave the bathroom door open, spend their free time doing exatly what they want. Isn't there something about that to be rather envious of? Doesn't it seem empowering to be so in control of your own life?
Of course, I understand that loneliness can be one of life's most evil villains, and that there are people who find themselves alone, not out of choice, and who are suffering. There are solutions to this kind of loneliness; my lovely aunt just shared an article today, written by a 90-year-old man who has come up with some really great tips on how to combat loneliness (I will link this article below!). But when I really think about it, I know that the loneliest people I have ever met in my life have been the ones totally surrounded by the most adoring fans, the ones with vast social networks and continuously beeping phones.
So, to anyone that is feeling lonely, or worried about their chosen lifestyles, whether they are social butterflies or not, I encourage you to find the solitude in your lives. It is definitely something that I place huge value on in my personal life; I seek out my private moments and look forward to them. This doesn't mean that we don't love our friends, or that we don't also like to spend time with people. I mean only that the happiness that we can create for ourselves can be just as wonderful.
Tips for loneliness article
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