I am not ashamed to say, I have quite a guilty conscience! I don't mean this in the criminal sense - I haven't committed some horrible crime or done anything terrible, I just often feel very guilty about small and insignificant things in my life. I often find myself apologising for things I simply don't need to be sorry for (this could be my English side coming out), or saying how bad I feel about something that I really couldn't have helped.
Well, I started thinking about this, how silly it really is, and also about how many other people I know who feel the same way - it seems like there are so many guilt-ridden people out there! I have compiled a list here of things NOT to feel guilty about, in the hope of trying to shake these guilty feelings off. These are all things that have caused me guilty feelings in the past, but I hope by putting them here on the internet I will no longer feel bad about them! I would also love to hear any more suggestions you have of things not to feel guilty about.
- Saying 'no' to social events.
It is totally fine to give your friend's 'superhero' themed party a miss, or yet another hen party or baby shower. It doesn't make you an outcast! It could just means you are putting your own life, first which is a good thing.
- Eating a donut from time to time.
Because, what would life be if it was just all diet and never anything truly delicious? You won't suddenly become obese from just one naughty treat now and then.
- Not buying huge, expensive, fancy presents.
You don't need to spend a fortune on gifts to make people happy or show them that you care. There are better ways to spend money.
- Enjoying a trashy TV show.
There is nothing wrong with settling down with a bit of trashy 'feel good' TV. It doesn't make you a stupid or uncultured person. Sometimes we need to just zone out at the end of a day!
- Just paying for yourself, instead of splitting the bill evenly.
This is quite a tricky situation, one that I have been in many times. It can be especially awkward if the people you have dinner with all have different jobs and earn different amounts of money. But really, there is nothing wrong with just paying for what you had if you are on a bit of a budget - if you only had a soup and others had the lobster, it's not fair to ask everybody to pay the same. It's not being a tight-arse, it's just being careful with your money.
- Not drinking alcohol.
Totally acceptable - nobody should feel guilt tripped into drinking alcohol because 'everyone else is'. You can still be the life of the party and stay sober!
- Leaving the washing up until later.You will get it done, in your own time, and if there are more important things to do right now, then just leave it!
- Kitchen disasters.
They happen to professional chefs, they happen to all of us. Everybody has had the experience of mucking something up in the kitchen, burning something, mixing the wrong ingredients, while you've got people waiting on you in the other room. If it goes wrong, just order a pizza :)
- Asking for help.
Sometimes, you just need someone to do you a favour or help you out - you shouldn't feel bad about that! There will be a time when you can repay that person the favour and they will be very thankful.
- Anything that is out of your control.
This is a big category of guilt, but also the most important one. It could be bad weather which ruins your weekend plans with your family, a sudden illness which means you can't make that birthday dinner, a technology fault which means you have no internet and can't respond to emails, traffic delays which make you late to a wedding or even a friend or family member who behaves badly at a party. All of these are NOT YOUR FAULT, they were always totally out of your control, nothing you could do, so do NOT feel guilty about them!
Labels: Thoughts