I am lucky enough to be an Auntie to one hilarious toddler nephew and one gorgeous baby niece - I say lucky because I get all the benefits of being an Auntie (visiting when I want and having fun playing with them) and I don't have to deal with all of the stressful bits of being a parent. I am not someone who spends much time with children, but after a recent visit to my family I got thinking about how kids live compared to adults, the differences in their outlook on life, and I thought I would share some thoughts.
One of the things I noticed straight away about my nephew and niece, but particularly my nephew as he is just at that age where he is becoming a grown person who can think for himself, is a sense of freedom; freedom to say what he likes, laugh, run around, cry, make a mess... Of course I don't mean that he is not being disciplined, or that he is naughty! Just that he lives with such a freedom of spirit and because of that I really think he is incredibly happy. A good example is when my sister (his mum) sent me a picture of my nephew playing with the stuffed dog toy that I had given him out in the rain - of course, realistically, this is totally impractical as the teddy would get soaked and dirty, but to my nephew this was irrelevant and of zero consequence! Having the teddy with him while he played outside in the rain was what he wanted, it made him happy and he probably got some wonderful games out of it.
This kind of freedom is definitely something I have noticed in children before, but somehow, as we grow into adults we generally tend to lose it. Why? Why do so many adults feel unable to just let go and say what is on their minds or act on whims for no other reason than it is what makes them happy? This morning I read an article about modern dating and how difficult it can be because of the games that you are expected to play - you can only send texts after a certain about of time, you can only ask someone to 'hang out' and not on an actual 'date', you can't tell someone how you really feel about them for another length of time... If we acted like children it might be a lot easier - we could just say what we want! It would certainly take less time.
And I totally admit that I fall victim to this too. I get embarrassed when I am in a public confrontation, I sometimes don't wear things that I really want to wear or say things that I want to say, I plan things out carefully and am not very prone to spontaneity and I really don't like surprises... I wouldn't call these attributes flaws, but I think I might be happier (and other people who feel similarly might also be happier) if I could sometimes live with more freedom and abandon. We often get told when we are young to 'grow up' and to 'be more mature', 'don't act like a child'. But I am wondering if we shouldn't be getting the advice to act more like kids, more often!
Of course it is a lot easier for children to act that way - they can make a mess of their clothes and their house but they don't have to clean it up or do their laundry, they can cry and they will be comforted, they don't have to worry about cooking or making plans or the future. But I think we, as adults, can learn from them. If we can find a way to still be adults and deal with grown up things, while living with a freedom to do what we want - to run around, play silly games, make a mess, have fun - then our lives might be much the richer.
Labels: Thoughts