Sometimes, I like to read through the Humans of New York Facebook page. If you haven't already come across this, it's a place full of personal and interesting stories from a whole variety of people, from all walks of life. I find it amazing and enjoyable to read these stories, which often put a very personal and emotional face on some of today's more serious issues in society.
Yesterday I found one in particular which really sparked my interest, as I felt I could really relate to it, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Thus I wanted to write some of my thoughts on the subject.
Here is the post:
The issue that this man is addressing is one that I have heard from so many people in my own generation (that of young adult, 20-somethings). It is that for various reasons they have not found themselves on the 'successful' path leading to wonderfully financially rewarding jobs, but instead in a state of confusion as to how to get on the right road to providing for themselves while also pursuing their true passions as a career.
After reading this man's post and a selection of the (sometimes quite shocking but always controversial) comments that followed it, I started to wonder why this is such a conflicting issue for my generation. Generally the reactions to this post were either in full support of him, encouraging him to keep going and follow his dreams and assuring him that he is not alone in this position, or they were totally against his decisions, telling him to grow up and get a real job and stop living off his parents. I have come up with two fundamental reasons as to the nature of this conflict.
Firstly, in this particular case, this man is pursuing a career as an actor and play producer. If I take a look at most of my friends or people in my social circles, they tend to be people in the arts professions; musicians, dancers and artists. I think breaking into careers in these kinds of professions is exceptionally difficult. These are crafts that require a lot of TIME for practice and work, which of course is unpaid! This is time that cannot be compensated for or sped up, so instead of earning money in paid jobs and getting a foot on the ladder to prosperity, these people are slogging away for seemingly nothing at first, and perhaps for quite a long time. If you were to go to any restaurant or bar around the West End in London, or Broadway in New York, I can almost guarantee that there will be staff in any establishment who are performers, trying to scrape some money together on the side of practising for their real work. I know there may be other professions where this is also the case, such as athletes, but I can only really talk about the ones that I know more about.
One comment on this man's post really stood out to me. It basically said something like 'Perhaps you should realise that as you have only participated in "tiny, regional productions" you are not actually good in this field and you should find a more suitable job for you, in which you can support yourself', although the exact wording of the comment was a little more blunt. I find so much error in this attitude! The fact that this actor is involved in regional productions, however small they are in the grand scheme of things, is actually already a great step in this career field. I have met so many people, friends included, who have some amazingly interesting things to say through their talents. The fact that they haven't been discovered by Hollywood yet or some big time record producer doesn't mean they should just give up on saying them! It just means that it's even more important to keep going through the struggle and find a place in the world where they can be heard.
This leads me to my second and perhaps more crucial point, which is the effects of the standards and expectations of our society. When people hit their 20s and adulthood, it suddenly becomes expected of them to support themselves and not live off their family anymore. There are of course many logical reasons for this; we have perhaps been through education, we are old enough to be able to make our own decisions and take care of ourselves, so we should also be capable of supporting ourselves. However, for many of us, some help and support is still very much needed, and it is becoming more and more common for young adults to still be relying on their parents for help. Is this a failure? What are the exact rules anyway? It seems that everyone has a different opinion about what age the exact cut off point from family support should be, so what is the right answer?
Of course providing for oneself is extremely important, and something everybody wants. I think that for some people, the importance of this and of the financial rewards of a job is greater, and for others, doing something that really makes you happy and working at your real passions no matter what the costs are holds a higher value. Therefore I think it is wrong to judge this man, or anyone else in a similar position, for making the decisions he has, and I think that we, as a society, should be more open minded in this respect. We simply cannot categorise people, because really, there are no rules. If people were always to buckle under social pressure, give up on what they truly love and get a job which they don't just because it gives them financial security, then the world would seriously miss out on so many incredible things; movies, music, political ideas, books, theatre...
I am reminded of a song called 'Little Boxes', originally by Malvina Reynolds, although my favourite version of it is sung by country singer Pete Seeger. The song talks about how people go to university and then become 'doctors and lawyers and business executives'; they follow the path that society lays out for them and in the process they get put in 'Little Boxes' and 'they all look just the same'. I love this song because it sheds such a light on this very issue, and why we need all different kinds of people in society all following different journeys - the world would be so boring otherwise!
So what can actually we do about this? Well, I think for this man, and anyone else who is lucky enough to have amazing, supportive parents, take that opportunity! It's definitely not an excuse to just take advantage of their kindness and sit at home in laziness because you don't 'need' to work. It's a real chance to take the time you need, practice your craft, get better, create something, and chase your dream. For those who aren't so lucky, there are other ways. There are lots of people who are passionate enough that they find enough part time work (whether as a waiter or shop assistant or any other job) to get by while also fitting in enough time for their own real work.
I would say don't give up, but do absolutely everything you POSSIBLY can to make it happen; then you know you have given yourself the best chance.
Labels: Thoughts
